Kings of Kong fight for world champion title

Arcade arch nemeses Steve Wiebe and Billy Mitchell battled once more for the title of Donkey Kong champion in a sixteen-way face off between North America’s best players, but when the dust from the broken barrels finally settled, neither could claim the crown.

That honor goes to New York plastic surgeon Hank “Doctor Kong” Chien, who defended his current world-record holder title – a Twin Galaxies-certified score of 1,090,400 – and bested both The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters stars in The Kong Off at Richie Knucklez Arcade Games in New Jersey. Chien reached the fabled Donkey Kong kill screen with a winning score of 994,400, with Weibe finishing second with 986,900 and Mitchel finishing seventh with 821,200.

If they had made an arcade cabinet version of Wonder Boy, I’d be the only beating back throngs of documentary filmmakers, but they didn’t and I’m not, so a tip of my bright red newsboy cap to Chien!

Posted in Gaming News

Duke Nukem Forever has babe slapping multiplayer mode

Duke Nukem Forever is really reaching out to women, like literally reaching out, with the sharp crack of an open palm to the derriere.

According to the latest issue of OXM, Gearbox’s Duke Nukem Forever will include four multiplayer modes: Dukematch, Team Dukematch, Hail to the King (aka King of the Hill) and Capture the Babe (aka Capture the Flag). It’s the last of these that’s stirring up controversy, as it replaces the traditional flag with a “babe” who must be stolen from your enemy’s base and carried caveman-style back to yours, and who along the way will “sometimes freak out” and need a “reassuring slap.” But it’s still feminist friendly, right, ’cause it’s not the face! Or a closed fist! At least until she opens her trap.

All kidding aside, I agree with the critics who say that the inclusion of a designated spank button is chauvinistic at best, offensive at worst, but let’s not start heating the tar and plucking the feathers yet. This is Duke Nukem Forever, not Barbie: Island Princess. In a game that boasts Duke Nukem-branded vibrating dildos and first-person trips to the urinal, giving a calming pat to the ass of the hooker you’re hauling across the map seems almost chivalrous.

Posted in Gaming News

Mature-rated titles only make up 5% of games published last year

Boobs and blood might get all the press, but mature-rated titles only comprised 5% all games rated by the Entertainment Software Rating Board and published last year, according to a recent news release.

Of the 1,638 ratings handed out by the board in 2010, 1 percent were rated EC, 18 percent were rated E10+, 21 percent were rated T and more than half, at a whopping 55 percent, were rated an all-ages friendly E. That leaves only 5 percent falling into the 17+ category, despite the media’s apparent assertion that most video games are rape training simulators.

Posted in Gaming News

Review / Homefront (X360)

The United States hasn’t had an enemy both sides of the political divide could rally against since the collapse of the Soviet Union, but Kaos Studios’ Homefront thinks North Korea could fit the bill, with a little creative license. Kaos Studios and John Milius, the writer of Red Dawn and Apocalypse Now, have created an almost post-apocalyptic vision of an America weakened by economic collapse, widespread disease and scattered military. But that’s just the build up to the main event. In this speculative future, Kim Jong-un, son of North Korea’s current pint-sized dictator Kim Jong-il, has somehow managed to turn the poverty-stricken, famine-ridden nation into a conquering nuclear superpower capable of annexing Japan, seizing Hawaii and eventually invading and occupying the United States with an evil zeal that would make Stalin proud.

Continue reading

Posted in Reviews

Little Zangief treats school bully to pavement piledriver

Australian high school student Casey Haynes has been dubbed “Little Zangief” after video of his Street Fighter inspired retaliation against a bully surfaced on the internet.

Originally posted on Reddit, the now infamous video captures the smaller bully repeatedly taunting and punching the bigger Haynes in the face, and Haynes calmly takes it.  Right up until the moment he unleashes his devastating finishing move, a spinning piledriver ripped straight from the Russian wrestler’s combo list.

Remixed versions of the original video, complete with Street Fighter sound effects, have naturally started surfacing.

While I believe that physical violence should always be the absolute last resort, this bully got exactly what was coming to him. It’s a shame that the kid in the black bag near the end,  the real bully who has been tormenting Haynes for the past for 4 years, didn’t get treated to an atomic suplex. I definitely don’t agree with the school’s decision to suspend Haynes for 4 days (the smaller bully for 22 days), as all he did was defend himself in the most awesome way possible.

If you agree, feel free to drop the school an e-mail in support of this bully bashing hero.

Posted in Gaming News

Dragon Age III could incorporate multiplayer

Fighting your way through the darkspawn-laden lands of Dragon Age is a team effort, even if said team is composed of computer-controlled simpletons who court death at every turn. Developer BioWare has created a deep customization system for Dragon Age‘s companion characters, but even so you’ll still have to step in and take control once in a while to keep them from doing something stupid, like trying to fire a bow a foot away from an angry troll. I can’t promise your companions will get any smarter in Dragon Age III, but according to Dragon Age II‘s lead designer Mike Laidlaw they might get more human.

“[Multiplayer] absolutely would [work],” Laidlaw told Eurogamer. “A big part of that is going back to fundamentals of the Dragon Age series and that sense of team; that we are stronger together than we are divided, which is in many ways a story theme through DA2…It’s certainly laying an interesting groundwork.

“Long-term that’s something we have to consider,” he continued, “because obviously multiplayer is something that’s a huge undertaking, it presents technical difficulty. And frankly it’s something that if done, has to be done really well, otherwise it feels very tacked on. So we’ll have to make any decision about that within that context.”

Posted in Gaming News

10-minutes of Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet gameplay footage

Fuelcell Games has released 10-minutes of gorgeous gameplay footage from Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet,  artist Michel Gagné’s forthcoming Xbox Live Arcade-exclusive silhouette shooter.

The game’s striking shadow puppet aesthetic come from Gagné’s own Insanely Twisted Shadow Puppets, a series of 12 interstitials created for Nickelodeon’s 2005 Halloween Shriekin Weekend, which you can watch on his site. The Canadian cartoonist originally pitched a much scarier version of the shorts,  in which he included “disturbing recordings of kids crying, screaming, hyperventilating.” Obviously, the network didn’t think the sounds of tormented middle schoolers would go over well with their 6-12 demographic, but you can still listen to it if that’s your thing. The FBI always has more room for one more on their watchlist.

Posted in Gaming News